Super Bug

Last night was a fun night at the Brooks-Bartlett house. We had an uninvited visitor. So, as we are sitting on the couch watching TV, I hear a scraping on the window that's right next to me. Since I am a fatalist, I slowly pull back the drapes, fully expecting Jason or Freddy or some other crazed psycho to be staring right back at me.

But no. Nobody was there. No such luck.

I still hear something in the blinds and then I see it. A black "thing" drop down to the floor. I immediately jump on top of the couch and slowly peer behind the china cabinet. The black "thing" scampers by. So, I do the logical thing and start jumping around, screaming at Jonathan, "THERE'S A ROACH!!! THERE'S A ROACH!! KILL IT!!!!" Which in turn makes him jump into action by stiffling a scream of his own and running up the stairs.

My husband. The fearless roach killer. Right.

Then he, equally calm as I am at this point, yells, '"GRAB MY SHOES!!! GRAB MY SHOES!! I SEE IT! IT'S HUGE!!! THE CATS ARE GETTING IT!!!"

Fearless.

So we run around and I hand him his shoe...which he hands right back to me and tells me to smash it if it starts going into the kitchen while he gets the vacuum cleaner from upstairs. At which point, I calmly tell him that I just can't do that right now. (Did you believe that?) Somehow, we contain the roach, which is really a water bug but those suckers are huge versions of roaches and therefore MUCH scarier! Somehow, the vacuum cleaner makes it downstairs. My fearless roach-killer husband sucks it up.

Then comes the problem. How do we get rid of it? We can't turn off the vacuum or else it will crawl right back out. The thing is so stinkin' huge that it is even able to fight against the influx of air so we have to keep pointing the nozzle down on the carpet to create even more suction and force to keep it in. Even that stopped working after a while so I start ripping up big chunks of toilet paper to keep the thing down.

(By the way, during all of this commotion, the cats are still in the corner where they last saw him, devastated that they lost their prey.)

Problem was, that was like giving him a ladder! The wads of paper didn't knock him unconscious like we thought it would (don't judge us...we were scared and couldn't think straight!). He just crawled out from under it and right on top...closer and closer to the hole.

We finally got ourselves into position and I yanked the cord out of the wall as Jonathan went running out the door with the vacuum cleaner, screaming. We don't know what happened to super bug. Jonathan said that he pulled out the canister, dumped everything out and in a blink of an eye, super bug was gone. Disappeared.

And the cats are still looking for their friend, I'm sure of it.